Our beautiful Family......How our decision to adopt came to be.

When my husband and I got together around 12 years ago, we discussed  having children together.  I had a significant back injury  10 years prior that would make being pregnant pretty difficult.  I would have to be on bed rest and in physical therapy for the majority of the pregnancy.  To further complicate matters, my husband had a vasectomy years ago.  We discussed reversing the vasectomy and the chances of paralysis with my back issues, and quickly decided on adoption.  Both of us are Social Workers and for us adopting through the U.S. foster care system, seemed like the most logical choice.

We knew we wanted a school age child so that I could continue to work.  It's funny how God has plans for your life that you are unaware, but end up being so perfect.  Needless to say, we did not get our school aged child.  We did not get anything we expected.  Our journey through adoption was difficult emotionally.  We were having a few issues in our marriage when we finally decided to go to the classes and fill out our application.  We had both been through a lot in previous marriages and so we sought couples counseling and decided to spend some time apart.  

Eventually we did get back together and have been working hard on our marriage since.  It isn't always easy and we aren't a perfect couple, but it works for us.  

Any way, enough sad stuff, now on to the fun stuff!!!  So we went to the classes, finished our paperwork and POW!  Here we sit.  7 children total.  3 from my husband's first marriage and 4 we adopted together.  I can not express to you how blessed we are to have been able to adopt.  3 of the 4 are siblings.  And 1 of them is not biologically related to the others.  But they are all ours.  Beautiful, sweet, independent, and OURS.  

I should tell you that the emotional roller coaster of wanting to have a child or children is not for the weak.  I am not the only woman on the planet who has desperately wanted a child and couldn't or shouldn't get pregnant.  In my case, I could get pregnant, but I shouldn't.  The chance of paralysiswas definitely  something to take into consideration and not lightly.  Since I had chosen the partner that I did, we also couldn't get pregnant unless we spent a ton of money to have his vasectomy reversed.  Even then, since his vasectomy had occurred 10 years prior to us getting together, the chances of the reversal being successful, were reduced significantly.  Adoption it was.

   

You have to understand, that I wanted nothing more than to be a mom.  Friends would get pregnant and I would get completely emotional.  I would tell them congratulations but really I was mad.  Mad at myself, mad at God, mad at everything.  I remember one night my husband asked me if I was ok with mothering a child that I hadn't given birth to.  That maybe God's plan for me was to mother someone else's child.  That conversation really resonated with me.  From that point forward, I was no longer angry when someone I knew got pregnant.  I knew that God's plan for my family was to be a mom, just not in the way most people were.  And you know what?  I wouldn't have it any other way.